no, i’m not dead.

•March 8, 2009 • 7 Comments

Yeah, I know it has been forever since I’ve written and I’ve guessed that many of you have stopped visiting (except for those who keep doing google searches for Tyson Beckford and Don Cheadle. Thanks for stopping by; you keep my blog stats up) figuring that I have dropped off or have totally signed my life away to Facebook.

I actually have had stuff to write about but laziness kind of took over coupled with me signing my life over to Facebook and then just going through a lot of personal shit that is just too personal to post on this here blog. Nothing catastrophic really but enough to really put me in ultra soul-searching mode and doing some serious introspection…so what else is new, right?

Well, aside from that, maybe not too much aside from this interesting little lesson that I learned tonight after coming back from a birthday party in the City. Everyone feels more alone than what appearances may say. I was talking with my friend SS and getting on him for not being more in touch under the assumption that he was always on the move and he said, “Honestly, J, I spend most of my weekends not doing anything, wishing my phone would ring and it never does.” I thought that was funny considering that’s how I spend a lot of my weekends doing close to the same thing. (not that I really sit there and wish for my phone to ring because to be honest, I really don’t like talking on the phone that much but I will admit that sometimes I wonder if people have forgotten that I have existed). In fact, SS was the one who thought I was the one who was busy all the time.

One thing I do know for sure as I get older is that NOTHING is what it seems to be.

it’s a celebration….you know what

•January 22, 2009 • 2 Comments

My apologies because I know I’m really late for this post but I’ve been distracted. I’m not getting much sleep these days because I’ve been glued to the biased liberal media shows (i.e. lots of Rachel Maddow and occssionally Keith Olbermann) to get my fill of the fact that it’s PRESIDENT OBAMA NOW.

First of all,  I didn’t go to the inauguration because tickets were scarce and at the end of  the day, Obama or not, I just can’t handle crowds like I used to. Well, okay, truth be told, if someone handed me at ticket, my ass would definitely be out there. But whatever the case, I did the best I could with what I had and ended up catching this spectacular moment at City Hall.  I ended up catching it in a small room with a bunch of people. It was a cool day because everyone was in a good mood. People were smling at each other, people were more courteous; it just felt like it was going to be “our day”.

Anyway, once the show got started, people got hyped up and cheered the minute Barack or Michelle appeared. In contrast, they hissed to no end when Bush or his crony Cheney appeared. When it finally came time for Barack to take his oath of office, we all stood up and cheered and clapped. It was awesome.

So since then, I have been trying on President Obama for a while and I have to say that I really like the way it sounds. I love fact that he is kicking ass already and slashing stuff. I love that he’s already trying to dliever on what he’s promised, I love the fact that there are black folks in the White House.

It’s great.

In the meantime, I have been collecting newspapers like they are going out of style and am in the hunt for a nice Obama pin to complement the t-shirt that I have (Shameless plug for my friend here!)

Change is grand.

i just choked on my big bowl of WTF

•January 15, 2009 • 2 Comments

Look, I understand full well that it’s not necessarily your fault that you live in an apartment building that happens to be directly across from my office. I’m not mad at you at all because Lord knows that the rent in the city is out of control and downtown has considerable bargains. I’m not mad, as a matter of fact, I’m envious of your huge beautiful, almost panoramic window that look directly into our office.

What I am mad at is the fact that you feel that you have carte blanche to prance around  in nothing but your underwear in full view of us, knowing that your ass ain’t got a damn curtain and that we can see you.

Oh, but today, to make matters worse is that you intentionally posed for us. Riddle me this Batman, how are you gonna pull down your pants in front of the window and then turn around to see if anyone is watching? Hell, even worse (if that is possible) how the hell are you pull your damn drawers down so that we have full view of your ass? Hell….how the HELL are you gonna do all this and not really have any ass to show for it in the first place?

All together now:

standsit2

HO, SIT DOWN.

I’m done. I hereby tender my resignation.

why i love riding the subway

•January 13, 2009 • 1 Comment

Because every person should start their morning off right by listening to some crazy-ass nutter ranting and raving  for half an hour about how he could kill a “muthafuka with [his] bare hands” but he isn’t really tr ying to do that because he wants to be a role model.

With that much stimulation, who needs coffee?

what is normal?

•January 10, 2009 • Leave a Comment

This is from Paulo Coelho’s Warrior of the Light Blog. I love it when he goes on this kind of tangent because it really makes us stop and, gasp, think for a change. Reading this makes me want to start a “revolution”.

Inventory of normality

I decided to conduct a survey among my friends about what society considers to be normal behavior. What follows is a list I have made of some of the absurd situations we face in day-to-day life, just because society sees them as normal:

1] Anything that makes us forget our true identity and our dreams and makes us only work to produce and reproduce.

2] Making rules for a war (the Geneva Convention).

3] Spending years at university and then not being able to find a job.

4] Working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.

5] Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.

6] Using Botox.

7] Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.

8] Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.

9] Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.

10] Not talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about our neighbors.

11] Thinking that parents are always right.

12] Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).

12ª] Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.

14] Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.

15] Believing absolutely everything that is printed.

16] Wearing a piece of colored cloth wrapped around the neck for no apparent reason and known by the pompous name “necktie”.

17] Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.

18] Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.

19] Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or else that it is worth absolutely nothing.

20] Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice” – and therefore also the required qualities – are missing.

21] Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.

22] Being convinced that all the famous people have tons of money saved up.

23] Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.

24] Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.

25] In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.

26] When you enter an elevator, looking straight at the door and pretending you are the only person inside, however crowded it may be.

27] Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.

28] In the Northern hemisphere, always wearing the clothes that match the season of the year: short sleeves in springtime (however cold it may be) and a woolen jacket in the fall (no matter how warm it is).

29] In the Southern hemisphere, decorating the Christmas tree with cotton wool, even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.

30] As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world, even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.

31] Going to a charity event and thinking that in this way you have collaborated enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.

32] Eating three times a day, even if you’re not hungry.

33] Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent. Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.

34] Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.

35] Using foul language in traffic.

36] Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.

37] Marrying the first person who offers you a position in society. Love can wait.

38] Always saying “I tried”, even though you haven’t tried at all.

39] Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.

40] Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs.

41] Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.

42] Thinking that women don’t like football and that men don’t like interior decoration.

43] Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.

44] Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.

45] Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality.

46] Being afraid of fibroscopy (men) and childbirth (women).

47] And finally, thinking that your religion is the sole proprietor of the absolute truth, the most important, the best, and that the other human beings in this immense planet who believe in any other manifestation of God are condemned to the fires of hell.

roland burris makes my pimp hand twitch

•January 6, 2009 • 1 Comment

I mean let’s just put it out there. From the moment I saw him during that tomfoolery of a press conference when Crazy (aka Blagojevich) announced him as Barack’s replacement, I realized that this man was touched. This sentiment was only confirmed again when I watched him appear again on the Rachel Maddow show last night. He doesn’t seem to understand why his appointment FAILS on all levels.

And now after reading this article that I found on the times, I am compelled to conclude  that this man is a fool and should be precluded, by ANY MEANS NECESSARY from getting Barack’s damn seat. He is about as delusional as Bush. Am I alone in this thought? Am I the only one who thinks that Dude deserves an “F”?

post holiday ramblings

•December 27, 2008 • 2 Comments

I’m still alive and kicking in this post-Christmas euphoria. My holiday was pretty low-key. My mom came up to hang out with me for a few days, which allowed me to spend my first Christmas in New York. I decided to really get into the spirit of the holiday by getting a live Christmas tree for my place. I was actually pretty proud of my little green sprout (well not so little, it’s taller than me and is kind of fat) which I garnished with my own decorations. Oh, how I love my little tree! Here he is, though I guarantee that he looks much better in person!

Mom and I didn’t do much; pretty much lounged around the apartment and using my tree as a type of fireplace. We’re pretty non-traditional when it comes to celebrating the holidays.

Aside from that, I’ve been winding down, surviving work and mulling over my New Year’s resolutions. For one, I’m hoping that now that I have wireless connection, I will blog and be more productive as I sit in the comfort of my living room in front of the tele. I also have some art/business ideas that I would like to put into practice that I plan on finding a way of working on every day.

After briefly watching Waiting to Exhale for like the millionth time and eagerly changing the channel to something less depressing like Law & Order SVU, I am rethinking my dating strategy for the new year. I’m kinda through with Match. I tried it out of convenience but I’ve gotten so bored with the idiots that keep landing in my inbox. I’m really wondering what it’s going to take to find that right someone but I’m sure I’ll figure it oiut so I’m not going to kvetch about it anymore.

So anyway, that’s that for now. I’m starting to sleep into that couch-surfing drowsy stupor. Ciao for now!

is it my imagination …

•December 16, 2008 • 1 Comment

…or is everyone crazy?

In the last few weeks, this question has been bounced around by several of my friends and I as we have reached the conclusion that as we get older, our circle of friends continues to shrink because there is a massive shortage of normal people.

This became quite telling when I started at where I currently work. I’d be putting it mildly if I were to say that there were definitely people here that are “touched”. When I first started there was the blatant crazy that tended to induce panic attacks on my part. You never knew if you were going to be “next” in terms of the next person to go crazy or be the next victim of a crazy attack.  But once those characters were dealt with, the blatantly crazy soon became what I like to call “undercover”, being that you think someone is cool one minute and you’re rolling with them and then, poof! They suddenly expose their asses, which seems to be the norm these days. I like to think of my office as a microcosm of what society is really like. I think I became so acutely aware of this because there isn’t a lot of privacy where I am. There are no cubicles; we’re all pretty much on top of each other so all the nonsense and random acts of buffoonery are out in the open.

And then I joined Match…and well, all one needs to do is mosey on over to my other blog to see what that’s about. I think that pretty much confirmed my suspicions of this societal craziness that has infected the populace. Constant and I were of the opinion that at least if people were paying to use this service, the financial obligation would at least weed out the nutters. I was wrong; these are just nutters with a Visa account. I could only imagine what the free services are like…oh, wait, I did actually sign up for one of those and well…that’s quite frightening.

I used to think that when you got older and reached adulthood, you kinda got it together but I see that is not the case…AT ALL. Maybe that’s the case because the stark black and white, right and wrong aspect soon became this strange gray area where it’s not so cut and dry. You just try and figure out what level of craziness you are most comfortable with.

So I guess you could say I’m trying to figure out where my bullshit threshold is. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.

what to do

•December 12, 2008 • 4 Comments

I’m bored.

I’m not bored in that way in that I don’t have anything to do. There’s plenty to clean, things to paint, chores and what not. I’m bored in that way where I feel like I need a massive make-over and overhaul in my life.

Nothing has made me realize this more than my job. It’s precisely that; a means to an end. A great way to pay the bills but it’s temporary and eventually it will end. The problem is that I have no idea when. Word on the street is that it will be over by the summer but we just don’t know. With litigation, things can go on to infinity or they can just end abruptly out of the blue.

It’s kind of a love/hate situation; I love the fact that I have a steady income (which is a massive blessing in this quagmire of an economy) but I hate it because of the tediousness of the work.It’s mind-numbingly dull and totally monotonous. Every day is like the next. The only thing that changes is the drama at the office, which there is plenty of. That’s precisely the problem; everyone is bored and unhappy so they just jack each other up. The insane thing is is that one day you’re pointing your finger and laughing at these people and the next day you’ve become one of “these people”.

I realized how small my life seemed to feel when one of my coworker’s sons died recently. It was a terribly sad event and while I didn’t get along with this woman all the time, I felt really sad for her loss and for a brief moment, most of the office put their buffoonery aside and came together to help her. Well, now she’s back and the buffoonery has resumed and I”m sitting here wondering what the point of all this is.

Right now I”m grasping at whatever straws that I can to remind me that life is bigger than all of this and that there is a whole world out there. The hard thing is that is hard to grasp at anything when you feel like you’re being sucked dry by a negative environment or everyday is a fight for your soul.

So in a way, I”m looking forward to the end of all this but I will miss the money. And then I have to figure out waht I need to do when this all ends. For now, my plan is to wait for the next gig to come along and pray that I don’t end up meeting most of these people again. But I know I can’t keep doing this forever. I have to find a new way, and that’s the hard and scary part.

Anybody got any ideas?

because bluez told me to step away from my new tv…

•December 7, 2008 • 3 Comments

…and I seem to be MIA myself. Here is something for your reading pleasure. And maybe after you get done reading that, you can mosey over here to read more adventures of FAIL.

Five names you go by

1. J

2. JT

3. My first and last name together–people think my real name is catchy.

4 Shug–that’s my father’s doing.

5. Lucy–my mom’s doing. She thinks I remind of her Lucy from the Peanuts cartoons.

Three things you are wearing right now
1.grey leggings

2. charcoal gray oversized hoodie

3. white socks
Two things you want very badly at the moment
1.  More coffee
2. Something nice and sweet to go with it
Three people who will probably fill this out
1. I
2. don’t
3. know

Two things you did last night
1. watched a DVD on a my new tv! (and then fell asleep in front of it)
2. Talked on the phone.

Two things you ate today
1. not applicable. I’m still working on my coffee. …
Two people you last talked to on the phone
1. My mom
2. My friend Andrea
Two things you are going to do tomorrow
1. Go to work
2. Run errands
Two longest car rides
1.Driving from Michigan to Sarasota, Florida to visit my aunt with my parents. Actually my dad did all the driving, my mom did all the arguing, and I did all the rolling of my eyes. Never again.
2. Moving from North Carolina to Michigan with my parents. Please see above.
Two of your favourite beverages
1. Coffee
2. Tension Tamer tea